Some don't understand why there are thousands of people all over the world who are affected by and mourning the death of Michael Jackson especially since most of us never even met him.
Even though no one probably cares, expressing my feelings about this loss is therapeutic and I hope to give you a better understanding of the heartbreak Michael's family, friends, music artists, and fans feel by sharing what Michael Jackson meant to me.
One of the first memories I have of Michael was watching Moonwalker, with my older teenage cousins and their friends in one of their neighbor's living room when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I distinctly remember thinking how awesome the "Smooth Criminal" video (featuring the famous anti-gravity lean) was, and after the movie finished, being intrigued by how amazing, magical, and strange this person called Michael Jackson was.
My parents weren't big Michael Jackson fans, but I remember listening to his music on the radio and watching "Thriller," "Bad," "Black and White," "Scream," and many of his other videos on MTV and loving and dancing to them all. They made me so happy. Anyone remember "Will You Be There" from the Free Willy soundtrack? Such a beautiful song.
I devoted one summer (I think it was the summer of '02, not exactly sure) to learning Michael Jackson dance moves. I'd play "Thriller," "Remember The Time," and "Beat It" in slow motion on my VCR and tried to learn the choreography. I can still remember the moves (not that I can do them well).
I remember watching the lengthy movie, The Jacksons: An American Dream on Vh1 and crying during the scenes in which Michael was beat by his father, who expected perfection from his son. Just like Michael did all he could to feel loved by his father and make him proud, I grew up having that same issue with my parents and I am still struggling with that to this day. Watching the amazing things Michael accomplished and all the love and compassion he had for people all over the world, despite his unhappy childhood was incredibly inspiring. Growing up with unaffectionate parents who make you feel as you will never be good enough is something that can take a lifetime to overcome and people cannot just "get over it."
This is why the character of Peter Pan and Neverland has always appealed to me, as it did to Michael and thousands of others. Having the chance to actually be a child and not being pushed to act like adults (like we were when we were kids), as well as the whole idea of never growing up (I even have a Disneyland shirt that says that) sounded like an absolute dream. When I first heard of Neverland Ranch as a kid, I thought it was THE coolest thing ever. Who wouldn't want an amusement park in their backyard? Michael wanted to experience the childhood he felt was robbed from him. I never, EVER want to lose the child-like innocence and curiosity inside of me and I will always fight to keep it alive in myself as well as others.
It seems as if some people can't comprehend the fact that even though Michael Jackson was a tremendously talented and famous celebrity, HE WAS A HUMAN BEING!!! People make mistakes! I do feel that those in the public eye should be a bit more careful of their actions, but still; people slip up and make mistakes from time to time. I really don't care if people will hate me for saying this, but I feel the media has been extremely harsh on certain famous entertainers, especially Britney Spears and Michael Jackson. When Britney was going through the aftermath of her divorce, personal, and health issues, I wished I could just go and save her, give her a hug, be her friend, and push all the negative and greedy people out of her life. I wanted to do the same for Michael. I just wanted people to leave them alone and stop attacking them, especially when they don't even know the real story. Think about all the stress, constant judgement and public scrutiny they and other public figures go through every single day. Imagine feeling alone inside and not being able to trust anyone because you never know who will be trying to screw you over in order to gain money or fame.
I've heard and read people saying that we are being hypocritical by disliking Michael Jackson when he was alive and mourning him now that he is gone and that angers me. Yes, maybe that is the case for some; but despite all the legal troubles, rumors, and allegations, that Michael went through, his family, close friends and fans (including myself), all believed in him and loved him because we saw and appreciated him for the things we knew he had done for certain: his wonderful and positive music, his unmatched talents as a performer, his kindness, compassion and desire to help others, "We Are The World," his humanitarian efforts, and his ability to bring different kinds of people together.
Through all of the troubling times, I chose to believe Michael, his family, and his friends (you know, people who actually KNEW him) who described him as a kind, loving, open-hearted man, while still acknowledging his eccentricities. I refused to believe malicious rumors and unproven assumptions, especially from people who didn't even know him. This is how I judge others as well; by their actions, and not by what is said by those who barely know them.
Yes, Michael Jackson was a bit different from others but I never saw that as a bad thing. Why do people insist on everyone being the same or "normal"? Bjork is another example of an artist who, along with Michael, has also been constantly criticized for being "weird". I always saw them as wonderful, unique, talents who yes, were different, but at least they stayed true to themselves and I love them both for that.
Another reason Michael's passing breaks my heart is because we need more people with enormous hearts like his in this world. Selfless, kind, and sympathetic people who want to help others and make the world a better place are hard to come by. Princess Diana, Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, George Harrison, and now Michael Jackson; these people genuinely wanted to bring peace and decrease the negativity, selfishness, and greed in this world that is the root of so many wars and conflicts. They were taken from us too soon and that hurts so much.
Michael Jackson was not a saint. Of course, nobody is perfect. But in terms of bringing joy and the message of peace to the world, he really did one heck of a job.
We should all strive to inspire and leave an impact on the world the way Michael Jackson and others before him did. Celebrate and remember Michael Jackson's music and his gifts, which I am so thankful he shared with the world.
I love and miss you Michael! Your musical legacy will live on forever. Rest in Peace. You deserve it.
My thoughts and heart go out to his children, family, friends, and anyone else who feels they've lost their idol.
-Anais
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From "Heal The World":
"Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me"
